Life Lately.

Simply, I want to be happy.

It should be easy, right? I live in an adorable little house, I have an ideal career, I'm engaged to a wonderful man, & I have a small group of lovely friends. When I write my current life on paper, I am ashamed to admit how often I struggle with happiness. It's still a theory to me, an idea, a possibility - but not a sure thing & not a consistent state of being. Like a lot of people, I have struggled with depression in the past, but I feel like now is the ideal; if I'm ever going to feel true happiness, now should be the time, right?

Don't get me wrong, there are definitely plenty of moments of pure unadulterated, sunshiny, glittery joy. I just want to kick it into overdrive & make some choices that will make the down moments not so well-deep, the stressful moments not so stroke-worthy. I want to be better.

I had myself a strangely emotional day on Sunday & made some decisions to make an immediate change, to take control of some of this moodiness & eliminate some of the external noise.

I essentially deleted my Instagram & Facebook. I say essentially because I couldn't bring myself to delete family & friends that live far away; that's just the best way for us to stay connected over mountains & oceans. BUT, I deleted
e v e r y o n e else. & everything got very quiet.

My goal is to be inspired, not inundated. I don't want to have every detail of people's lives in my face every minute of every day. I want to feel like I can have a conversation with someone & not know everything that they're going to say because it was already spelled out on Instagram & Facebook.

I want to be reminded of how vastly multifaceted my friends are. I want to discover them & get to know them by conversation - bottles of wine, great meals cooked with care. I don't want my relationships to revolve around social media, around the facade that our egos build online. I am especially guilty of this - posting a pretty little highlight reel online to show how I want my life to appear to others. It's silly, self-indulgent, & a complete waste of time.

Ultimately, I'm not interested in public perception or approval of who I am. So why do I partake in such a farce? Why do I let myself get sucked into excessive foodstagrams & mindless status updates? Why has my psyche allowed me to think that a quick 'like' of someone's artwork, music, poetry, or life event is enough? We should be having discussions, we should be sharing in a more meaningful way. I don't know every way to make this change yet, but this is where I'm starting. I'm taking my interactions more seriously & putting more effort into my relationships. And I think this will also help me to have a quieter mind - to focus on time when it's available, focus more clearly on my own goals & a little less frightened to make mistakes & do things on my terms.

I'm still getting used to the change, reaching for my phone every few moments & then realizing that I'm all logged out & shut down. But this will become a habit, just as it became so easy to be constantly attached. I hope.

I'll continue to post here because I like our little corner of the internet, just as I cherish my Pinterest & Tumblr. Inspiration du jour, my friends.

Good luck out there, guys.
xx chlo.

2 wild & crazy guys!

Hey guys,

How's it going? It's been awhile. Sorry about that -__-. Life has been a little on the crazy side, & I don't say that lightly.

Yeah.

We've been working hard, getting our save the dates ready (which were just sent on their long journeys around the world!) & spending time with family. We saw Jack the Giant Slayer & went to the circus this past weekend with mum & the boys - fun times! Although I have to say...the circus? Not my jam. Watching the elephants & tigers perform makes me a little sad to be human. But I digress!

Top Golf spicy pork sandwich challenge, my favorite beer, our save the dates :), a selfie, Dropkick Murphy's concert, Meddlesome Moth & their delicious mussels, <3 us, & a yummy martini.

I am also very excited that we have started a new garden! Our front yard was looking pretty miserable, so we pulled out some of the old plants that were in all sorts of wrong places & got some plants that will be happier in our shady shady front garden. We planted mostly bulbs so that we can mix & match throughout the seasons & not start from scratch every time. This is my first real garden & I'm hoping that I don't kill everything like I usually do. If anyone has any tips & tricks, I'll be glad to hear them.

So far, we've planted Japanese Holly Ferns, August Ferns, Hosta bulbs, & some Black Magic Elephant Ear bulbs. The Hostas were eager to grow, but the Elephant Ears are taking their sweet time.

Well that's all for now. I'm going to add some blogging to my schedule so that I don't forget about our little space here. Hope you're all enjoying a lovely start to Spring.

Be good,

xx Chlo.