Life Lately.

It's been a busy few weeks in this house! Busy days lead to as many relaxing nights as we can get our hands on. That means movies & video games around these parts :).

A few weekends ago, Eric's parent threw us a lovely engagement party with their closest friends. It was nice to catch up with everyone, & see some people we haven't seen in years. Eric's high school swim coach & old neighbor came by and Eric was pretty chuffed to see him again after so long; is there anything better than hearing old stories about your partner's shenanigans? I don't think so. Also, Eric's godmother & her family gave us a vintage bottle of Veuve Clicquot for a special married occasion, which is just the sweetest thing. I can't wait for the right moment to pop that bottle!

Other than that, it's been a few birthdays, project planning, & beautiful weekends for working around the house & visiting farmer's markets. Maybe a few patio lunches ;).

This month is going to be great; we've got birthday parties & concerts & a few other surprises that seriously make my LIFE right now.

In fact, I think the rest of this year is going to be truly epic (in every literal sense of the word). Between a few secrets that I can't divulge (eep!), the wedding festivities, our little honeymoon, family trips... it's goin' down, y'all!

I have some s e r i o u s planning to do. Take care & call your mother.

xx Chlo.

On life & her lack of control.

Life is a wild one & sometimes I feel like I am just on her train with no stops in the near future.

I feel that there is a lot of miscommunication & heartache around me at the moment. I am concerned that I'm not doing the right things, saying the right words, or making the right decisions. For the past week, I have been pretty stressed, trying to decipher the expectations & needs of the people I care about. I struggle between backing away completely & forging forward to see these things through. But it feels the more I am involved, the more I know, the more I try to help, I am not in the right place. There is an imbalance.

I want to meet each new challenge with grace, & the only way is with empathy & a resolute calm. I also want to make sure that I learn something, that I can approach the next challenge having taken something away from the last.

So I have to accept the beauty of our human life in all of the messiness.

Even these harder growing pains are just another part of living a full life. Getting to watch loved ones discover themselves, who they really want to be & how to get there, is a lucky lucky thing. It's not easy, it's not without it's stress & sometimes heartbreaks, but next year, this will all have passed & we will all be onto the next bigger thing.

That's how I feel about getting older - every year gets bigger & bigger. As more dreams are accomplished, as the picture changes & new goals take shape, the boundaries that define my life expand exponentially. It makes me so excited & sometimes infuriatingly impatient.

Remembering to sit in the present moment & appreciate whatever the world has in store is important.

Just some thoughts on this Tuesday afternoon as I try to walk in the light.

"When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, & his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help." - Thich Naht Hanh.

Be kind out there.
xx Chlo.

Life Lately.

Simply, I want to be happy.

It should be easy, right? I live in an adorable little house, I have an ideal career, I'm engaged to a wonderful man, & I have a small group of lovely friends. When I write my current life on paper, I am ashamed to admit how often I struggle with happiness. It's still a theory to me, an idea, a possibility - but not a sure thing & not a consistent state of being. Like a lot of people, I have struggled with depression in the past, but I feel like now is the ideal; if I'm ever going to feel true happiness, now should be the time, right?

Don't get me wrong, there are definitely plenty of moments of pure unadulterated, sunshiny, glittery joy. I just want to kick it into overdrive & make some choices that will make the down moments not so well-deep, the stressful moments not so stroke-worthy. I want to be better.

I had myself a strangely emotional day on Sunday & made some decisions to make an immediate change, to take control of some of this moodiness & eliminate some of the external noise.

I essentially deleted my Instagram & Facebook. I say essentially because I couldn't bring myself to delete family & friends that live far away; that's just the best way for us to stay connected over mountains & oceans. BUT, I deleted
e v e r y o n e else. & everything got very quiet.

My goal is to be inspired, not inundated. I don't want to have every detail of people's lives in my face every minute of every day. I want to feel like I can have a conversation with someone & not know everything that they're going to say because it was already spelled out on Instagram & Facebook.

I want to be reminded of how vastly multifaceted my friends are. I want to discover them & get to know them by conversation - bottles of wine, great meals cooked with care. I don't want my relationships to revolve around social media, around the facade that our egos build online. I am especially guilty of this - posting a pretty little highlight reel online to show how I want my life to appear to others. It's silly, self-indulgent, & a complete waste of time.

Ultimately, I'm not interested in public perception or approval of who I am. So why do I partake in such a farce? Why do I let myself get sucked into excessive foodstagrams & mindless status updates? Why has my psyche allowed me to think that a quick 'like' of someone's artwork, music, poetry, or life event is enough? We should be having discussions, we should be sharing in a more meaningful way. I don't know every way to make this change yet, but this is where I'm starting. I'm taking my interactions more seriously & putting more effort into my relationships. And I think this will also help me to have a quieter mind - to focus on time when it's available, focus more clearly on my own goals & a little less frightened to make mistakes & do things on my terms.

I'm still getting used to the change, reaching for my phone every few moments & then realizing that I'm all logged out & shut down. But this will become a habit, just as it became so easy to be constantly attached. I hope.

I'll continue to post here because I like our little corner of the internet, just as I cherish my Pinterest & Tumblr. Inspiration du jour, my friends.

Good luck out there, guys.
xx chlo.

2 wild & crazy guys!

Hey guys,

How's it going? It's been awhile. Sorry about that -__-. Life has been a little on the crazy side, & I don't say that lightly.

Yeah.

We've been working hard, getting our save the dates ready (which were just sent on their long journeys around the world!) & spending time with family. We saw Jack the Giant Slayer & went to the circus this past weekend with mum & the boys - fun times! Although I have to say...the circus? Not my jam. Watching the elephants & tigers perform makes me a little sad to be human. But I digress!

Top Golf spicy pork sandwich challenge, my favorite beer, our save the dates :), a selfie, Dropkick Murphy's concert, Meddlesome Moth & their delicious mussels, <3 us, & a yummy martini.

I am also very excited that we have started a new garden! Our front yard was looking pretty miserable, so we pulled out some of the old plants that were in all sorts of wrong places & got some plants that will be happier in our shady shady front garden. We planted mostly bulbs so that we can mix & match throughout the seasons & not start from scratch every time. This is my first real garden & I'm hoping that I don't kill everything like I usually do. If anyone has any tips & tricks, I'll be glad to hear them.

So far, we've planted Japanese Holly Ferns, August Ferns, Hosta bulbs, & some Black Magic Elephant Ear bulbs. The Hostas were eager to grow, but the Elephant Ears are taking their sweet time.

Well that's all for now. I'm going to add some blogging to my schedule so that I don't forget about our little space here. Hope you're all enjoying a lovely start to Spring.

Be good,

xx Chlo.

On having lunch with the best people.

We just got our engagement photos back & I am more than a little bit smitten.

Just a whole lotta love.
xx Chlo.

This Week...

This week was all recovery & HAPPY BIRTHDAY TYLER! He's the greatest guy & we love him.

xx Chlo.

This Week...

Unfortunately, I have been taken down full force by some kind of evil plague, so the last week has been rather simple - a wheezing, snotmonster named Chloe being taken care of by a saintly Prince Eric.

Anyway, Eric took me to the doctor on Monday & after a full pharmacy of prescriptions, I am well on my way to next week being a much better one :).

Luckily, I got to sneak in a little Downton Abbey tea party with Nina before my immune system meltdown. So glad she got hooked so I have a DA buddy!!

Ok guys, be well! I hope none of you catch this heinous bug.
xx Chlo.

This Week...

2013 is going to be an epic year for us over in the soon-to-be Esakoff house. I wanted to find a way to stay on top of all the great things happening (& to be honest, not forget everything like I usually do). SO, we're going to be taking part in Project Life - a scrapbook-type post that reviews the previous week. I can already see where this is going to go terribly wrong for me, haha!

Anyway, on to the first week of January 2013!

I know I'll get better at these as we go, & my overall goal is to be more present in everything we do & really commit this amazing time to memory :). That's really my only resolution for 2013 - be fully present & grateful.

Be good in 2013!
xx Chlo.

Happy New Year!

First of all, can I just say that we have the most amazing friends?! Eric & I are so fortunate to be surrounded by some of the most thoughtful & kind people we've ever met.

They threw us a beautiful NYE engagement party! They put together the most decadent cheese plates this girl has ever seen, & put an incredible amount of effort into every detail. I'm still swooning.

Eric & I had an unforgettable night, thank you guys again so much.

We are looking forward to so much over the next year, my head swims just thinking about it. Making resolutions has never been my thing - I prefer to make goals throughout the entire year. However, I think pulling off this wedding (& being just so enormously happy while doing it) is my number one resolution.

Eric & I wish you the most legendary 2013. May all of your goals be achieved. May you be prosperous, healthy, incredibly happy, & above all - may you dream bigger than you ever have.

xx Chlo.